The Fat Def Lady in The Sex Store

So, I heard about a hilarious story regarding my friend, uh, we'll call him Adam and the lady that he's currently sexually involved with; we'll call her Linda. So the dyad decided to press the envelope of their sexual relationship through S&M experimentation. Where can they find the essential equipment? A specialty sex store of course! These two travel for about an hour under the blanket of the stars to find the kinky establishment that they researched on the internet. Upon entering the parking lot they both bud with excitement at the sight of the gray dimly lit building that looks more like a big trailer than a store, but the lure of a new experience would require more than an shady looking building to deter them.


As they both climb out of the car, neither of them are speaking but are silently answering "yes" to the question that their eyes are asking, "are you sure about this?"

Upon entering the building, the scene was typical of what one would expect; in the front, an army of magazines whose subjects are devoid of clothing. Towards the middle of the store they found rows upon rows of DVDs brandishing similar subject matter as the magazines. Their gaze retreat from the DVDs and advanced upon the rear of store - to the toys. They casually stroll to the back of store glancing at the magazines, waving at the two workers behind the desk that they did not seem to notice as they entered the store, laughing at some of the titles of the DVDs and finally arriving in the play area. As they browsed through the selection they saw nipple pinchers, vibrating penis rings, clitoral stimulators, double ended dildos, double ended strap ons, sex swings and some devices that neither of them had ever seen or heard of. Fascinated by the variety of hardware Adam and Linda didn't notice the sales clerk approaching them. She was a white lady about 5 feet 8 inches tall, not necessarily obese, but very over weight with blonde hair and blue eyes; there really wasn't anything that stood out about her at all, until she opened her mouth. "Hano", she said, "ip dere anee ding ah can hehp ooh wih, pea neh mee no." Translation: Hello, if there's anything I can help you with, please let me know.

Simultaneously avoiding eye contact with each other and suppressing their insensitive giggles, they both politely declined. However, as soon as they returned to the car they looked at each other and exploded with laughter. Linda looks at Adam and says, "did we just get assisted in a sex store by a fat woman with a speech impediment?" Adam responds, "yes, yes we did; and now we must tell the world..."
 
~ Pinnacle, The International Hustler